Ryan’s Story

My Story

My story began shortly after the events of September 11th. Growing up just outside NYC, I felt especially called to service. I joined the USMC and served multiple combat deployments. In 2006, I left the USMC and returned home to wage my own 20-year war, struggling with post-traumatic stress, moral injury, and a complex set of symptoms stemming from countless mild traumatic brain injuries.

The traditional treatments I sought were like Band-Aids on a deep wound—they didn’t address the core of my suffering. It was a dark time, filled with isolation and hopelessness. I was skeptical of anything outside the conventional. I thought, ‘How could anything different work for me if these established methods didn’t?

Everything changed when I met my guide, Dr. Andrea Lucie, who introduced me to alternative therapies and holistic approaches. From breathwork to meditation and Native American Sweat Lodge ceremonies. After a year of engaging in these practices and getting comfortable just being with myself—the person I liked least in this world—she introduced me to psychedelic-assisted therapy. It was no longer just about managing symptoms; it was about understanding my entire being and reconnecting with myself on a deeper level.

It all happened quickly. I was connected with Dr. Martín Polanco, Founder of The Mission Within, and within a month, I was traveling to San Diego and then across the border for ibogaine and 5-MeO-DMT treatment. The experience was paradigm-shattering. I made peace with my past and recognized that all of the suffering I was experiencing was self-induced. I walked away from that weekend with a new perspective on trauma, healing, and purpose.

Over the last several years, with the unwavering support of my family and community, I’ve gone deeper and deeper into who I am and why I’m here. The answers I’ve found are both profoundly simple and incredibly profound. I’m here to simply experience all that life has to offer—the ups and downs and everything in between. Each of us is a singular masterpiece woven from a complex tapestry of experiences, thoughts, emotions, and dreams. Just as no two stars in the sky shine the same, no two people share the exact combination of qualities, perspectives, and potential. This uniqueness is what makes our interactions so rich and our contributions so invaluable.

But we exist in a world that conditions us to believe our value is derived from our ability to produce. We are taught that there is a finite pool of possibilities and resources, and we must exist within the confines of a zero-sum game. So, we trade our most valuable resource—time—so that we can have the fanciest prison cell on the block. I’m not here to preach at you; I, too, spent most of my life viewing what’s possible from the narrowest of apertures.

In May of 2024, I found myself at a crossroads, unsure of my next step. Rather than reverting back to conditioned thinking, I paused. I made space for my thoughts to settle and distractions to cease. I meditated and prayed. Then, one day, a friend sent me an article with a quote from Howard Thurman: 'Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.' This time, it resonated with me on a cellular level. What makes me come alive? I’m most alive when I’m just 'being' with someone and finding the opportunity to feed their divine spark. Witnessing that, with each reflection, the embers within them grow brighter.

So, I started The Journey Home, realizing that my mission was larger than my own healing. It was about awakening others to their limitless potential and catalyzing a movement that liberates consciousness on an individual and collective level. Today, I stand before you, not just as someone who has walked the path of healing but as a guide ready to walk with you. My aim is to support you in discovering your innate capabilities and understanding your interconnectedness with the world. I invite you all to join this journey of transformation. If you or someone you know is struggling, know that there is hope and a supportive community ready to help.

Together, we can awaken to our limitless potential.